DEFINE YOUR OWN VERSION OF SUCCESS 

First of all, and very importantly, it allows you to define your own version of success. One of the biggest issues and why so many of us struggle with self-esteem is because we’re trying to live up to other people’s (slash society’s) version of what success looks like. 

WRITE YOUR OWN STORY

When you become the main character of your life, what you’re allowing yourself to do is really write your own story. 

As the main character, the story is written around you, not the expectations of you, not what your family wants from you, but what you want for you.

When you take the time to become the main character in your life, what you do is you take the time to write your own story, meaning that you write your own rules, you write your own vision, you get clarity on what life really should look like for you. And what this actually leads to is you start living for yourself and stop living for other people. 

The main character is the person that the story is actually written around. What so many people do, however, is they live their life for other people, their spouse, their friends, their family, their children. 

And by no means am I saying that you should just disregard all of these people and focus solely on yourself. Look, relationships are a responsibility as a human being that we have. When you centre yourself in the middle of your life and you focus on living for yourself. What actually happens is that you become a better person and you’re able to contribute so much more to other people. 

It just allows you to live your life for yourself rather than necessarily always living your life for other people. 

STOP LIVING IN FEAR OF JUDGEMENT

Becoming the main character really helps to stop living your life in accordance with your fear of being judged by others. 

Think about it, in the movies, the main character does not stop themselves from being the superhero or going after the things that they want because they’re so afraid of being judged by other people. And yet most of us are doing that in our own lives. Most of us are not going after what we want because Susie over there might roll her eyes and think we’re being weird, or Darrin over here might make a snarky comment about us, like who freakin cares. 

And, if you are the main character, if you are truly living life for yourself, the opinions of others shouldn’t be interfering with the story that you’re writing for yourself. 

It isn’t about trying to live up to some Pinterest version of what life should look like. It’s just truly about getting in alignment with who you are, what you want, and what your life should look like to make you the happiest and most successful version of yourself. 

DATE YOURSELF

Think about it. When you start dating someone new and you’re completely enamoured by this person, the reality is they’re probably going to take up a lot of your time, energy and mental capacity. You think about them a lot. You do nice things for them. Maybe you go out of your way a little bit more than you’re used to impress this person. 

What I suggest is that you put that energy into yourself. 

What if you spent one month dating yourself? You know, that beautiful time at the beginning of a relationship where you cannot help but put your best self forward? What if you showed up as that person but did it just for you? What if you went out of your way to romance and impress yourself? What if you thought about yourself all day long while playing love songs and admiring pictures of yourself? What if you took yourself out on dates and treated yourself to new experiences? What if you pledged yourself just because it feels good? What have you looked at yourself in that way? You know, the way. What if you looked at yourself like that? And what if you did this just not for one month, but instead for a year, a decade, and the rest of your life. 

You are the love of your own life, you are the one who will be there every day until the end of time. You are your own dream, your wish, your fantasy. 

Learn to love yourself, like the greatest love story of all time, and watch your life change forever. 

Becoming the main character means prioritizing yourself. And again, it’s not selfish to prioritize yourself. Because the more you focus on yourself, the better you’re actually going to be for other people. 

So try this, try this as a concept. Start to date yourself. Take yourself on dates, start to play yourself love songs, start to think about yourself in that romantic kind of way. It takes time. Absolutely. But if you try to do this, over time, you will be the main character of your life because you will be your own personal priority. 

LIVE IT LIKE IT’S A MOVIE

Think about it from an actual movie perspective. 

I believe that all of the women in this community will have grown up with some kind of role models. Think about the movies that you were most attracted to when you were a child and those specifically female leads in those movies that just made you feel like anything was possible. 

Now, this is going to be totally different for everyone. 

So I want you to take some time to like, reflect on your childhood and the characters in movies that made you feel the most alive and start to think about what qualities of these people can you bring into your current experience. 

I really have taken the characteristics that once when I was a child lit me up the most and tried to step into the role of that version. And it really does make you feel like the main character of your life. 

So start thinking about what characteristics of the people that you aspired to be most like when you were a child and start to think about what things can I bring into my current experience to make me inspire myself in that same way.

STOP LIVING FOR OTHER PEOPLE

How much of your time is spent trying to impress other people? 

How much of what you’re striving to achieve is so that you can impress other people? 

Think about what you post on social media, think about the goals that you have for yourself, think about the things that you’re trying to achieve every single day. Are they for you? Or are they for other people? Are they for the validation and approval of other people? 

This is not main character energy. If everything you’re doing is for the validation and approval of other people, then you’re not the main character, you’re probably not even the second main character, right? You’re probably one of the people standing in the background of the movie, right? Because you’re just there
as a part of somebody else’s script. 

You have to stop living for other people. Figure out what you want out of life and start moving towards that. But just do a little audit. 

Spend the next week auditing your days. All of the things that you do throughout the day. 

Look at everything you do throughout the course of a week and ask yourself is this truly what I want? Is this truly what lights me up? Or am I doing this because I think it’s going to fit somebody else’s script? 

Audit your whole entire life, cut anything out that you don’t truly want yourself, and, instead, start infusing it with things that are in alignment with what you truly want. 

This isn’t about you trying to project some perfect experience. This is about happiness, fulfilment. This is about pride. And this is about joy. This is about living a good life, becoming the main character is thinking about the idea that life is frickin short and it’s totally unpredictable. 

If we have such a short and unpredictable time here on this planet, in this body, why not try and make every day the best we possibly can. 

Every single day if we try to be the main character, if we try to live in alignment with what we came to do and who we came to be, your experience overall is going to be so much more positive, you’re going to be a happier person, you’re going to be able to contribute more, achieve more and generally if every single person tried to pursue this in life, the world will be a better place.