THERE ARE 3 WAYS YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

In his book Atomic Habits, the author, James Clear talks about how there are essentially 3 different ways that we can change our life. 

CHANGE THE OUTCOMES

The first layer to changing your life is trying to change the outcomes.

I think that we’ve all realized lately that there is so much of life that is outside our control. Therefore, when we are always trying to change based on our outcomes, we’ll often be left feeling disappointed. Why? Because at any moment those outcomes can change. 

CHANGE YOUR SYSTEMS

The second layer of change is changing your systems (or, as I like to call them, your projects). Whilst this is a very effective way of planning, goal setting, and trying to achieve an outcome, it’s still not the most effective way to truly change your life. 

I mean, how many times have you said to yourself that you’re going to work out 5 days a week and then when life gets in the way you just completely fall off course. 

CHANGE YOUR IDENTITY

That is why it is so important that when you are trying to change your life, you focus on the third layer: your identity. 

Who you believe you are is going to determine the life that you’re going to live and the changes that you are able to make. 

I remember Tony Robbins saying that “We will always act in accordance with who we believe we are.” And this is why change, for so many people, is so incredibly difficult.

True change is not what we want, it’s not what we do, but rather, it’s who we are. 

I think, now more than ever, it’s time to take a look at who we are and assess whether that person is really aligned with the vision that we have for our lives. 

Here’s the thing, most of us have been living our lives at 100 miles an hour, never really slowing down to decide consciously who we want to be.

They say we have about 80,000 thoughts every single day, many of which are just repeated from the day before. And when we’re moving so quickly through our lives and living so much of it on auto-pilot it’s no wonder that change is hard.

INSERT: SELF-ISOLATION – We’ve all been put into this situation where we’re stuck, or safe, at home.

While in the beginning, it seemed like 2020 was out the window for all productivity and personal growth, I actually think that right now is the perfect time to slow down and finally change your life. 

STEP 1. FIND INSPIRATION

Now, there’s a big difference between inspiration and motivation. 

Inspiration is something that’s going to get you started. It’s like the spark that is ultimately going to push you into momentum. 

Motivation, however, is sustainable, it’s internal, and it’s the thing that’s going to keep you going. 

So, the first thing that you need to do is find sources of inspiration: external sources that get you excited and give you this sense of possibility. 

For me, what really helped me to make the decision to change my life, what left me feeling like it was possible, was a video called The Truth by Eric Thomas. But, for you it could be podcasts, YouTube videos, motivational videos, going to seminars, hiring a coach, there are so many ways you can find inspiration.

Just make sure it really gives you that feeling of possibility. You should walk away feeling like your perception of yourself has been changed. You should have this sense of self-belief that what this podcast or video is telling you is possible, in fact, feels possible. 

So write a list of the things that inspire you, so you know exactly where to go when you need it. 

STEP 2. KNOW YOUR MOTIVATION

This is your why, this is why you need to change your life. This is what will keep you focused when you have bad days (because they will come).

You need that internal reason for why changing your life is so important: your why, your vision, your purpose, your values.

So many people make the decision to change their life but don’t really back it with a solid why or purpose.

Ask yourself, what are the consequences of not changing?

Take some time to really hone in on this because it is so so important for the sustainability of your goals. 

STEP 3. IDENTITY WHAT AND HOW

Next, you need to identify what needs to change and how you’re going to change it. 

What so many people do is decide they need to change their life but then get stuck because they don’t actually want to take the action steps to make it happen.

It starts with the motivation and the commitment you make to yourself, but the next step here is to identify what changes need to be made and what action steps you need to take to make them. You need to identify the how.

Because we’re so heavily influenced by other peoples opinions and what life “should” look like, we often start taking actions that aren’t aligned with our own personal values or enjoyment. 

Let me tell you, one of the reasons that I have been so successful in changing my life, and please hear me when I say this, is because one of my highest values is fun. 

Where I see so many people going wrong, is they decide they’re going to change their life and that they HAVE to do this, this, and this to get there.

If it is not in alignment with what you truly enjoy, I guarantee you, you will retract back. There is so much fear involved in changing your life that you have to combat that with enjoyment. 

So, take your time here and find a way to achieve the change you want in a way that you find enjoyable. 

The fun is going to be the thing that allows you to enjoy the journey when things get hard.

STEP 4. MAKE THE DECISION

You have to truly make the decision
and make the commitment and the only way to take responsibility. 

Repeat after me, “I take 100% responsibility, 100% of the time.”

When you take 100% responsibility for yourself, 100% of the time, you take all of the power back to really change your life. 

So, what you really need to do, whether you need to write it out or get it tattooed, you need to take that power back. That’s when you’ll stop feeding your excuses. 

YOU have to change your life. Nobody else is going to do it for you. It’s as simple as that. 

If you know that you deserve a better quality of life then what you’re living right now, you need to take control of that change. 

STEP 5. RECONNECT WITH YOUR INSPIRATION

You know why? Because failure is going to happen. 

There are going to be down days, there are going to be days when you just don’t believe in yourself. 

And, this is why I feel so strongly about you creating an “Inspiration Toolkit”. Know what books, podcasts, videos get you feeling inspired and know where to find them when you need them.

Also, make sure you’re connecting with that internal motivation. Most people set goals and create the vision board and then forget about it. How are you supposed to be reminded of what you’re working towards if you never actually remind yourself?

Remember, you need to take responsibility for being your own coach: Remind yourself of what you are focusing on and what this is all for. 

STEP 6. REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU DO NOT NEED TO DO IT ALONE

Now, I talk about this a lot, but that is because it is one of the most powerful elements of personal development. 

Even though it’s called personal development and you do need to take responsibility for yourself, having other people around you to support you through this process is so so important. 

It’s the support that I get from the people in my life and the people I’ve met online that keep me from retracting into who I used to be and keep me focused on moving forward.

You’re a human being, you’re going to make mistakes, you’re going to retract, but it’s your responsibility to just take it one step at a time. If you do fall down or backyards, just get yourself back up and keep moving forward.

If you need extra support, join our community on Facebook and Instagram – @erinmayhenry, I’ll see you there!