Today I’m going to talk about a few ways to self-coach yourself through fears. A lot of these fears are fears you need to embrace because they will always be there, but you’re just telling your self the risk is worth the reward.

We all struggle with confidence and imposter syndrome, but it’s about taking steps towards taking action and getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. If you want to learn and grow, you need to be uncomfortable.

Sabotaging fears

These are fears that limit your decisions and taking action. You need to ask your self, what are the action steps that you’re too scared to do? What could go wrong in the future? Is moving through the fear going to be worth it?

Today I’m going to talk about a few ways to self-coach yourself through fears. And a lot of these fears are fears you need to embrace because they will always be there. But you’re just telling your self the risk is worth the reward.

The most regular fears that arise as excuses are things like “I don’t have time”, “I don’t have the right equipment” and so on. These are crippling beliefs that limit your mindset and stop you from taking action towards achieving your goals. These fears are like holding your self-worth on too high as a pedestal.

Fears and self-worth go hand in hand. You’re valuing your need to fit in rather than standing out. If you want to fit in more than you want to achieve your goals, your brain will tell you to run rather than taking steps towards chasing your goals. “It’s too risky, play it safe, what if it fails.”

You feel unworthy of having success.

You need to take a step back and ask yourself are the fears legitimate or are they just things that could happen?

The more you do something, the more confidence you’re going to get and the more competent you’re going to become it’s an endless cycle.

The more repetition, the easier it becomes to stand up to the mean girl in your head and tell her to “STFU, I got this!”

Start calling bullshit on your excuses

Let’s get to the practical side of things. I want you to write down your blocks/excuses/limits on a piece of paper. 

1. I’m not good enough

2. What if people judge me

3. I can’t, because of…….

4. I’m an introvert

5. And the list goes on

And then start to call the bullshit of your excuses.

Look at others that are in the same position as you and have conquered that limitation. This is calling bullshit on your excuses.

A good way to look a fear that people have when they are going to leave their 9-5 job and take the plunge into there side hustle. This is a legitimate fear, the fear of lack of security. 

What’s the worst that could happen vs what’s the best that can happen?

Ask your self “What am I giving up, by being afraid of giving up”?

Your brain will default to the negatives and fears first, but you need to think of what are the positive outcomes if you succeed? 

What is it going to take? How much effort will you need to put into the success? This is a great one for people that often find themselves calling themselves lazy. People often look at the endpoint a think too many steps are involved, why even bother?

It is much better to approach a situation with motivation, desire and willingness rather than reaching a point of desperation.

Desperation vs Willingness

Desperation: If you were overweight and needed to lose weight due to a significant health scare. 

Willingness: This pathway is more aligned to making diet and lifestyle changes by choice as you see the benefits like outdoor exercise which can be fun and offer you a better quality of life.

If you can find joy in the process and have the enthusiasm for making progress rather than relying on the point of desperation. This will lead to greater internal happiness to enjoy the steps you are taking.

Fear is natural. But fears will always be there, you won’t kill them so that they will never return. However, you will conquer them but then new fears will arise.

As long as you can overcome them each day, learn from the skills you have acquired and use these to squash the fears you face each day you’ll be on track for becoming better equipped to say see ya later to fear, judgment and failure!

If you haven’t already, be sure to join us in the Game Changer community on Facebook or on Instagram – @erinmayhenry.

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