How to Build a Life You’re obsessed With in 5 Steps
While you are sitting there feeling bad about your life, scrolling through social media because you’re comparing yourself to everybody else, something that you could be doing instead is taking simple steps to make your life the biggest damn vibe possible so you don’t feel the need to constantly escape to social media. That’s what we’re going to be talking about today.
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WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE…
Now, comparison is something that we all struggle with. And even though we know that comparison is the thief of joy, that comparison is a lose-lose scenario…we still do it.
I myself recently have been caught in a major comparison trap. And here’s the kicker.
You know, they say to us, “Don’t compare yourself to other people, because you really have no idea what’s going on in other people’s lives. They may be showing the highlight reel on social media, but they could be deeply unhappy behind the scenes.”
Recently, I started comparing myself to people, particularly in the area of finance. I’m an entrepreneur, and I really pride myself on building a business around fun and freedom. And yet lately, I’ve caught myself feeling a little bit of comparisonitis to people who were making more money than me.
Even though in some of these cases, I knew the entrepreneurs personally. And I knew that even though some of them had been making a million dollars in their business, they were still deeply unhappy with their lives behind the scenes. When I made the comparison of their life to my life, I wouldn’t change it, I would not switch places with them. But I still found myself feeling bad for that one little area, which was the income that they made last year.
And so even though they tell us not to compare ourselves to other people because we have no idea. The reality is that so many of us still continue to do it. We go on social media, we look at what everybody else is doing, what they’re achieving, what they’re wearing, or what their body looks like. And we can’t help but feel bad about ourselves.
So I’ve got a little exercise that I want to share with you today. That is rather than necessarily trying to stop comparing yourself altogether because this is very, very difficult.
What I want to do with you is actually help you to create YOUR LIFE as the whole damn vibe. When you are so obsessed with making your life a vibe, what you do is, you actually distract yourself from comparing yourself to other people.
When you’re so focused on the individual areas of life that we are going to go through today. And up levelling them to your desires, you will find yourself less likely to feel the need to constantly escape to social media.
My friend, gala darling, recently made a video on comparison and feeling jealous and envious of other people. And I really liked how she put it. She said, “when you get high on your own supply, which I believe is a quote from someone, but I can’t remember who then you are going to be able to stop comparing yourself so much.” And I have my philosophy of becoming the coolest person you know. But today, particularly, I want to help you look at all the individual areas of your life and help you upgrade them help you make them a vibe so that you don’t feel like you are constantly less than other people. And you can just be obsessed with your own life.
YOUR HOME (YOUR ENVIRONMENT)
Your home and your environment are such a big part of your life. You know, your home is where you spend most of your time, most likely. And even if it’s not where you spend most of your time, it should be the place where you feel most at home. The environment in your house is within most of your control. And so what you want to do rather than constantly comparing yourself to everybody else’s home aesthetic and lifestyle is that you want to do these small iterations within your home environment that makes you so obsessed with the place that you reside that you don’t feel like you constantly have to come home and then escape to social media. Therefore perpetuating that comparison trap.
If you’re spending a lot of your time at home or if this is the sanctuary that you should come home to after a long day of work, then what you want to do is make it so so vibey that you don’t constantly feel like you need to pick up your phone.
Now I’m not saying go out and spend a bunch of money and completely redecorate your whole house, but get really intentional about creating your space as your sanctuary. There are so many things that you can do:
Recently, I got on the acrylic organization trend in my bathroom with my makeup and in my kitchen. I really just started making everything just work with the organization. And that just made me feel calmer, more at peace.
I have in my home what is called a vibe corner, it has a record player, plants, books, and a beanbag, and I love to just go sit there and just vibe out.
I have redesigned my office space so that I love working in the space.
I find that when our environment agitates us, what we tend to do is use escapism to get out of that environment space. And so if we’re not liking the environment which surrounds us, it’s really easy to get into a dream state with that little square rectangle that causes so much of that comparison. But when you create your environment to support your goals, to support your desires to support your needs, you’re less likely going to want to escape it and rather just spend time enjoying it.
I watched another video recently talking about how important environment was to our goals and to our life. And so not only creating an environment that you actually want to spend time in will help you to stop comparing yourself to other people. But it literally can help to automate and systemize some of the achievement of your goals.
Go through your house at this stage. Just audit all of the individual areas. What do you like? What don’t you like? What brings you joy? What maybe needs a little bit of an upgrade? Just do a little walk through your space and start to think about what those small upgrades are that could lead to you wanting to actually spend more time in your environment and less time face down in your phone.
Now I know this is a really controversial area because health is quite often categorized with body image with weight loss. That’s not what I’m talking about here. What I’m saying when it comes to your health is you have an optimal state of health for yourself. And this is going to include lots of different things. Yes, it is going to include how you feel about your body, but it’s also going to include your mental health, your energetic state, how your spiritual connection is.
When you’re wanting to create your life as a vibe, one of your main goal should be that you want to get in the healthiest state possible for you. So the first thing you’re going to want to do is you’re going to want to sit down and firstly define what health means to you.
Don’t let the internet dictate what healthy looks like and what healthy feels like because it is so different for every single person based on your circumstances, based on your needs, based on your desires.
So what does optimal health mean to you?
For someone, it might mean prioritizing slowness, prioritizing flexibility, prioritizing stillness, including a lot of meditation and yoga.
Health for me, is actually more active than that. I want to be in the best state possible to be able to do Muay Thai fighting, to be able to have high energy for my business. I’m a high-energy person. And so healthy for me means getting a lot of sleep, nutrition, you know, making sure that I have good cardiovascular fitness.
If you really want to stop comparing yourself to other people, and constantly having the internet dictate to you what health looks like, what you want to, first of all, do is sit down and actually define what health looks like to you and then start making those small iterations in your life.
Do you need to go see a naturopath to help with your energy levels?
Do you want to focus more on your sleep so you feel more lively throughout the day?
I promise you that when it comes to creating your life as more of a vibe, quite often, it’s actually the pursuit of things that can make you feel better about progress rather than the actual attainment of the goal.
So it’s not being a perfect weight, it’s not having the perfect sleep, but it’s just the process of nourishing yourself, respecting yourself, working on things for yourself that is going to help you feel like your life is more of a vibe. That you are the coolest person you know.
Now I speak a lot to entrepreneurs, this channel is about mindset, but it is also about building an audience and entrepreneurship. So I know so many people in this community are building a business. But whether or not you’re building a business or whether or not you are working a job, what you want to do is you want to romanticize the journey.
So many people are comparing themselves, but what we generally compare is the end result. Just like my example this week, I have my dream business, and I get to do my dream work. When it comes to your career, when it comes to your business, if you are constantly comparing the end result to other people, what you want to do is you want to distract yourself by romanticizing the journey. And I know this is really common advice. But it’s common for a reason because it really does work.
When you focus on just having fun, when you focus on being creative, when you focus on developing the best products you can develop, be the best employee that you can be. Rather than always chasing, chasing, chasing, trying to win to get to that end result, you’re just going to not only probably be more successful and sustainable in the long run and not burn yourself out. But you’re just going to have such a good time building your life and building your career.
How can you just have more fun building the things that you want to build in the world? Instead of constantly being distracted by where you need to be and who’s already there.
Relationships are one of the most complicated areas of life, and barely any people are out there posting the fights that they’re having with their partner or the mental challenges that come with being in a relationship or a friendship or a working relationship. And so it’s really easy to compare your relationship to other people’s, whether it be your intimate relationship or your friendships.
This is an opportunity for you to get distracted with what you’re actually creating in your own life. And the little tip I have in the relationship area is to get weird and make your relationships exciting.
If you want to do more within your relationships, just get weird about the time that you spend with people. Get creative about the time that you spend with people. Organize dates with your friends. Sit down with your intimate partner and play games. Get really deep with your business bestie and ask each other really challenging questions.
The more creative that you get in your relationships and the less stale and mundane they become, the less likely you are going to be looking at what everybody else is doing.
Relationships is one of the biggest areas of highlight reels, and the reason why we tend to compare ourselves in this area is probably because of boredom. And so the antidote to that is spicing things up, spice things up in your romantic relationships, spice things up in your friendship, by getting really creative about how you can take those relationships to the next level, how you can have more fun, how you can get deeper in your conversations, and how you guys can just make each other laugh, make each other smile, push each other to the limits, and just go further in these relationships.
This really encapsulates a lot of what we’ve spoken about today. But I think just generally, one of the areas that we struggle with is thinking that everybody else has their fucking life together, and like they’re so on point with what they’re doing, and they’re so stable, and they’re so confident. That is the biggest fallacy of all time.
Every single person is struggling, every single person is going through self-doubt and impostor syndrome. Every single person has mental health struggles, to some degree, you know, whether it be a small degree of anxiety, or whether it be burnout, or struggling with their goals and ambitions or their identity.
Every single person has some kind of degree of struggle in their life when it comes to their self-image. And we look at everybody else and think they had their lives together. We look at everybody else and think they are so confident in even though it’s not the case, it still doesn’t stop us from comparing ourselves.
One of the best things that we can learn about in our life is ourselves. Who are you? Where are you going? What are you like? What triggers you? What excites you? What do you love? What do you hate? We spend so much time inundated with how everybody else is feeling and what everybody else is doing. We have deeply, deeply, deeply lost that connection to ourselves.
This affects our relationships, it affects our business, affects creativity, it affects so many areas of our life. And so, going inwards more regularly, and spending more time alone can be the best thing that you can do for your comparisonitis.
Because the more that you respect yourself, the more that you love yourself, that’s going to be a big benefit. But one thing I think that will change the most is the more that you actually like yourself. Give yourself the space to get to know yourself more.
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