I’ve long been fascinated by the concept of change – how one can effectively alter their lives for the better. Sure, we often encounter life-altering content, neatly packaged into oversimplified one-liners that promise an overnight transformation. But let’s face it, real change isn’t that simple, nor is it achieved overnight.

In reality, change comes as a result of a combination of philosophies, tools, strategies, and techniques that compound over time. It’s a series of small, yet significant actions that lead to profound effects on our lives.

With this in mind, I’ve broken down 22 significant ways I have changed my life, hopefully offering some inspiration for your personal development journey. My objective is to inspire you to become the coolest person you know and to bring about meaningful change in your life. Let’s dive in.

If you did like this episode, be sure to screenshot and share it on Instagram and, of course, tag me, @erinmayhenry

THE PHILOSOPHIES

1. Becoming the Coolest Person You Know

This philosophy forms the foundation of my transformation. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for the life you lead. This isn’t just about creating yourself, it’s about prioritizing yourself too. Building a positive self-image and fostering a strong relationship with oneself is a game-changer.

What does it mean to be the coolest person you know? It’s a fine balance of self-improvement and radical self-love. It’s about pushing yourself, stepping into the person you want to become while still accepting and adoring yourself as you are now.

Becoming the coolest person you know is a mindset that allows you to create your own path towards success. It encourages strong boundaries, an excellent relationship with yourself, and a level of self-idolization that may unsettle some, but ultimately helps you grow.

2. Embrace Life’s Seasons or Chapters

Life is dynamic and filled with twists and turns. Acknowledging and embracing this fact has allowed me to take risks, dive into experiences wholeheartedly, and remain open to change. Too often, we cling to the familiar, fearing that we might never find anything better. But life is not stagnant; it is a series of chapters, each one different from the last. Learning to trust the process and the natural flow of life can liberate you from the fear of change.

3. Create Your Own Vibe

This might seem unusual, but understanding what ‘vibe’ means to me has been instrumental in my journey. Creating a vibe in your life makes each individual moment more meaningful and enjoyable. When you look at something and think, “That’s a vibe,” you’re connecting with a feeling that resonates with you. Being aware of what gives you that feeling and learning to recreate it in your own life adds a special flavour to your day-to-day experiences, making your life feel more like a movie.

4. Your Life is a Movie, You are the Director

This mindset further enhances the idea of creating your vibe. As the director of your life, you can add or remove characters at will. I don’t mean to suggest you should ruthlessly cut people out, but you’re entirely in control of who influences you and how much. Recognizing this can help you curate a healthier, more fulfilling environment for yourself. You can choose to unfollow those who add negativity to your life and instead, surround yourself with inspiring figures. This shift in focus can drastically change your outlook on life.

5. We All Have Different Timelines

This insight has been particularly impactful for me. We often fall into the trap of comparing our progress with others, a cycle that’s largely driven by time. The notion of being ‘behind’ or ‘ahead’ can add tremendous pressure and stress. Realizing that everyone has their own unique timeline can be liberating. When I let go of the need to compare my timeline to others’, I found a greater sense of joy and tranquillity. Trusting that your success, joy, and impact will arrive when they are meant to can free you from unnecessary worry.

6. I am 100% Responsible for Myself

This realization has been a significant part of my personal development, especially through therapy. Understanding that I am fully accountable for my emotional state, needs, outcomes, and actions has been enlightening. It has allowed me to emotionally self-regulate and navigate through challenging situations more effectively. When we acknowledge that we are entirely responsible for meeting our own needs, and communicating them when necessary, we can better handle ‘sticky situations’. Remember, while you are the main character in your life’s story, you cannot expect others to always know what you need or come to your rescue.

7. Your Initial Emotion Doesn’t Always Need to be Amplified

I’ve always been a highly emotional person internally, but for a long time, I kept my feelings suppressed, adopting a ‘suck it up’ attitude. Recently, I’ve been learning to communicate my emotions better. However, I’ve also learned that not all emotional reactions need to be amplified. If something triggers an emotional response, it’s essential to acknowledge and process the feeling, but we don’t always need to intensify the initial reaction.

Another vital understanding I’ve come to is that not every emotion needs to be acted upon. Yes, emotions need to be felt, acknowledged, and processed, but they don’t always need to be intensified or acted on. Self-regulating and self-coaching through emotional experiences is a skill worth developing, as it leads to greater emotional intelligence. Remember, not every emotion is factual, representative, or needs to be followed. Some emotions can simply be felt and moved through.

8. You’re Never Too Old to Start Something New

Here’s another mindset I think is absolutely essential: You’re never too old to start something new. Many of us, especially women, have this ingrained belief that as we age, our values and abilities decrease. This is far from true. When I turned 30, I made many significant life changes, started new hobbies, and overhauled my business. I found inspiration in the stories of women who started businesses and hobbies later in life, such as Louise Hay, who embarked on her journey in her late fifties.

Remember, if you have a desire to start something new, no matter your age, go for it. It’s never too late or too early – everything is happening exactly as it should.

9. You Don’t Have to Be Good at Everything You Do

This realization has been liberating. We often put pressure on ourselves to excel at every endeavour we undertake, thinking that if we aren’t progressing, what’s the point? The truth is, you don’t have to be good at everything. It’s perfectly fine to engage in activities simply because they make you feel good, not because you aim to master them. For instance, I enjoy DJing even though I’m not particularly good at it.

So remember, it’s okay to pursue a hobby or creative endeavour purely for the joy it brings, not necessarily with the aim to monetize or progress in it.

10. Success Looks Different for Everyone

As a business mentor who helps people build freedom-based businesses, I consistently emphasize that success is a highly individual concept. We live in an age where success often seems predefined, particularly in the online business space, but it’s crucial to remember that success looks different for everyone. We all have unique goals, aspirations, and definitions of what success means to us.

In today’s world, it’s easy to get caught up in the seemingly standard definitions of success: income screenshots, huge follower numbers, and so on. But success is far more nuanced than these surface-level markers. The amount of money you make isn’t the ultimate determinant of success. Where you live, your level of happiness, and the impact you want to make also play a role.
Don’t allow external checkmarks to validate your progression; instead, define success for yourself. 

What truly makes your life enjoyable? What makes you feel proud and accomplished? 

Being unwavering in your pursuit of personal success, as defined by you, is vital. Trying to match everyone else’s pace or path may leave you feeling burnt out and unfulfilled. When you follow your authentic path, things start to fall into place.

11. Pressure is Self-imposed

We often feel immense pressure around work, relationships, and our own success. But it’s essential to realize that this pressure is typically self-imposed. Yes, society, family, and peers can contribute, but you’re the one who decides how much you let that pressure influence you. The realization that you’re in control of both applying and relieving this pressure can make everything easier. Use pressure constructively when necessary, and recognize when it’s counterproductive.

THE ACTIONS

12. Develop Your Personal Style

This might seem like a minor thing, but developing my personal style has significantly changed my life. Fashion is a powerful tool to step into the character you aspire to be, helping you become the “coolest” version of yourself. 

A fun way I’ve been exploring this is through the concept of “eras.” As inspired by RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant Mistress, I’ve been categorizing different periods of my life as different “eras” – my winning era, my boss era, my soft era, and so on. Embrace the playfulness of life and allow your style to reflect your evolving personality and goals.

Fashion and style have always been powerful tools of expression for me. Currently, I’m in my “reigning queen era,” where I’m stepping into a more mature, boss-like persona. On other days, I might lean into a childlike era and style myself accordingly. There’s no need to box yourself into one fashion style or self-definition; you can adjust your aesthetic according to your evolving identities, chapters, or seasons.

13. Embrace Hobbies

Hobbies are not only a wonderful way to spend time but also an avenue to express various facets of your personality. It’s not about being excellent at every hobby; it’s about exploring different aspects of yourself. For instance, I’ve tried skateboarding, DJing, playing the piano and guitar, and even moai. Do I excel at all of these? Not necessarily, but the process of exploration and self-expression has been a significant game-changer.

14. Develop a Productivity System

Developing a productivity system is another action that has transformed my life. Initially, I considered myself a rebel who followed no schedule, but this approach created chaos. I have now found that the more systematic I am with time management, the more freedom I have to pursue my hobbies and interests. I use tools like Google Calendar, ClickUp, Asana, and Notion to organize my time and tasks. This effective time management has given me the space to work on changing my life.

15. Cycle Syncing

More recently, I’ve been exploring cycle syncing, which might not resonate with everyone, but for those who menstruate, it can be a game-changer. Understanding your energy levels at different stages of your menstrual cycle can help optimize tasks like filming or choosing the type of exercise you should do. This understanding and synchronization with my body’s natural rhythms have been very beneficial for me.

These strategies and actions, though they might appear random, have had a significant impact on my life. They’ve changed how I view myself, how I show up in the world, and ultimately, how I live my life. 

I’ve found it incredibly beneficial to be aware of my menstrual cycle and create my schedule around it. This approach has helped me to identify the times when I’m most productive and when I might need to retreat inwards. By tailoring my routine around something I experience every month, I’ve created a system of efficiency that helps me maintain productivity and overall well-being.

16. Exploring Sexuality

After exiting a long-term relationship and being single for a while, I embarked on a journey of exploring and expressing my sexuality. Learning about what I liked and didn’t like in a sexual context led to a broader understanding of my desires and needs in various aspects of my life. It was about taking control of my sexuality, which had a significant impact on my self-awareness and self-expression, leading to a more holistic understanding of my desires and needs.

17. Learning to Learn

Something that has changed my life significantly is learning how to learn effectively. It might seem strange, as we’re supposed to learn how to learn in school, but the truth is that everyone has unique learning styles that can change throughout life’s different chapters. I was under the impression that reading books was a prerequisite for entrepreneurial success, but I realized that’s not the case. You can learn from podcasts, videos, conversations, experiences, and hands-on environments. Understanding and embracing your unique learning style is crucial for continuous personal growth and success.

18. Effective Money Management

Creating an efficient system for money management has also been a game-changer. There was a time when I was earning well but had no clear idea where my money was going due to a lack of budgeting systems. Thanks to my friend Ruby, who brought this to my attention, I’ve now developed better habits and systems for managing my finances. This strategy has helped me maintain an abundance mindset without sacrificing financial awareness and control.

Money management systems are essential. While an abundance mindset can be beneficial, it’s equally important to know where your money is going, how you’re saving, investing, and what your financial goals are. In 2020, my friend Ruby brought to my attention that I didn’t have a good system for handling my finances. This realization led to significant changes; since then, I’ve bought and sold houses, invested, and gained a better understanding of my finances. This has given me a sense of security and allowed me to focus on creating impact, joy, and fun in my life instead of being preoccupied with financial stress.

19. Cultivating Relationships

Cultivating positive relationships has significantly influenced my life. This doesn’t just include your friends or romantic partners but also the people you follow online. It’s important to surround yourself with people who add to your life rather than detract from it. Evaluate all your relationships, both physical and virtual, and make sure they enhance your experience instead of depleting your energy. It’s far better to have a small, supportive group around you than a crowd that diminishes your sense of self.

20. Enjoyable Workouts< /h3>

Finally, finding a workout routine that you enjoy can make a world of difference. As humans, it’s vital to move our bodies to feel good and maintain optimal health. However, this doesn’t mean you have to conform to traditional workout routines like lifting weights in the gym. It could be anything from pole dancing to hiking, martial arts, or rowing. The point is to find a form of physical activity that you genuinely enjoy and gets you moving regularly.

Experimenting with different ways to move your body and coupling this with hobbies you enjoy can make the process of becoming healthier much easier. If you dread going to the gym or doing a particular type of sport, don’t force it. There are countless ways to stay active, and finding an activity you enjoy can significantly help improve your health.

21. Personal Development Routine

The realization that there are countless ways to change your life has been crucial. Personal development comes in many forms – different tools, tactics, routines, and teachers. It’s essential to experiment and find what works best for you. Finding a personal development routine that works has been a combination of various philosophies and actions, proving that healing requires time, consistency, and practice.

You might try something once, like a Reiki session or therapy, and feel it doesn’t work for you. But it’s crucial not to limit ourselves to these initial experiences. Continue experimenting with the intent of finding a combination of methods that works for you.

For instance, I’ve been engaged in personal development since around 2015 or 2016. Throughout these years, I’ve required different tools and teachings in different seasons of my life. And because I remained open to it, the right methods presented themselves to me.

Currently, I’m experimenting with micro-dosing psychedelics like mushrooms and have recently received a prescription for cannabis to help me relax. It’s crucial to understand that you will need different tools, routines, and structures in different seasons of your life. Changing your life isn’t a linear process. Instead, it’s a continuous evolution, requiring different modalities and routines at different times.

22. Being Adaptive and Attuned

The final element that has significantly influenced my life is making sure I’m using the right tools for my current chapter and truly listening to my needs. This ties back to becoming the coolest person you know. Having a solid relationship with yourself allows you to identify what you need in any season, chapter, or challenge. When you’re deeply connected with yourself and not easily influenced by what others are doing, you avoid jumping from one concept to another without creating real change. Instead, you find things that work for you, enabling you to continuously evolve in a manner that’s best for you.

As we go through this transformative journey, keep in mind that these are insights from my personal experiences. The goal here isn’t to replicate my journey but to draw inspiration and apply these principles in a way that suits you. Remember, transformation is an ongoing journey, not a destination. Stay tuned for more life-enhancing content and here’s to an extraordinary life!

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