LOWER EXPECTATIONS BUT RAISE YOUR STANDARDS

The first thing that I do when it comes to staying optimistic is that I lower my expectations but raise my standards. 

They say in Buddhist philosophy that one of the biggest things that causes so much discomfort in our lives these days is attachment to outcomes. So many people expect things to go certain ways and when they don’t go that way they feel really disheartened. 

What I’ve really done in my own life is that I’ve really tried to lower my expectations. Whether it be in business, in relationships, or with any of the goals that I’m trying to achieve. I don’t have these high expectations of myself or of other people and so I’m really comfortable with whatever it is. 

Alongside this, I raised my standards. So, although my expectations of what the outcome is going to look like are lower, my standards are still that I’m always trying to strive for the best. 

I know this almost seems like a contradicting truth, to have low expectations and high standards, but the reality is that I just think this is such a beautiful mix of not being attached to the outcome of particular things while also striving to be the best version of myself. 

So I have high standards. I want things to be amazing but I’m not upset when they’re not. 

A really practical example of this would be, say I’m going to do a big launch in my business, of course, I’m going to have high standards I’m going to say that I want to achieve x amount of money or I want to have x amount of people join this program and I’m really going to push myself to try to achieve that thing. However, if it didn’t happen I wouldn’t turn around and say I’m a failure there’s something wrong with me or I’m unworthy of achieving these goals like I just don’t have any attachment to the outcome. 

If you can really find space for this mix in your life, it’s one of the things that will ultimately help you to just stay so much more focused. 

INTENSITY OVER LONGEVITY

Something that helps me stay more positive is that when it comes to dealing with negative emotions I go for intensity rather than longevity. 

What I used to find is that I used to suppress my emotions a lot and I felt like there was always this underlying sense of sadness that would really impede my daily life. Now, when I’m upset about something, you know say something doesn’t go my way in life or in business or in relationships rather than trying to suppress those emotions rather than just you know trying to suck it up, as we say, I really try to do everything that I possibly can to bring on those emotions so intensely, to really feel those emotions so that I can get it out and it can pause and then I can get back to that space of trying to rebuild myself to a more positive state. 

 I really try to move through the emotions as quickly as I possibly can by feeling them as intensely as I possibly can. 

Now look, I’m not saying there’s any sort of therapeutic or scientific research to this, this is just something that definitely works for me. But I’ve tried both, I’ve tried to suppress my emotions hoping that they would go away and they just don’t, they bubble under the surface. So my general sense of positivity is overall lower when I’ve got lots of sad things on my mind. 

RE-CALIBRATE 

Another thing that allows me to stay so positive is that I know how to recalibrate myself towards my vision. Sometimes we get stuck in ruts. Sometimes we get lazy, sometimes we procrastinate. Even myself, people consider me to be a successful, productive person who achieves a lot in life. There are absolutely days where I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to take action. I can’t be bothered. I hate the world. I hit everyone in it. That’s so natural, right? Again, we’re all humans. 

But when I come out of one of these periods of feeling my emotions or a rut or an unproductive weekend, I know how to recalibrate myself back towards my vision. I know the specific things that I need to do to get myself out of a rut so I can start to feel more motivated and excited. 

For me, it’s going on Pinterest, it’s getting myself emotionally attached to my vision, it’s reconnecting with my vision. Because if you don’t have a solid vision, it’s really hard to move forward in life. And feeling positive is about moving forward growth and achieving things a lot of the time. 

Recalibrating myself towards that vision, starting to take action towards that vision is one of the things that helps me to feel so positive. It’s undeniable that the feeling of pride and the feeling of achievement is one that induces a lot of positivity in us. Having a vision and working towards that and knowing how to bounce back and knowing how to get back on track working towards those goals, which overall is going to help you feel more productive and more positive in the long run. 

DON’T PUT ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET

A lot of people have very few areas of their life, which make up their holistic experience. Maybe they have their relationship and their job and they don’t really have anything outside of that. I’ve really built my life in a way where I have so many different areas that if I fail or if something happens in one of these particular areas, I’m able to really lean on these other areas. You know, I have hobbies, I have my business, I have passion projects, I have my relationships, I have so many different parts of my life that if something happens in my business, I’m not feeling like my entire world is crumbling because I still have my hobbies, my relationships, my passion projects.

I think that having harmony with all of the different areas of your life, but just having hobbies and having projects and having so many different things rather than just putting all of your eggs into one basket is a good way to stay confident. 

So filling your life with an abundance of amazing things is one of the things that will definitely help make you feel more positive. 

RELATIONSHIPS

One of the things that helps me to stay so positive all the time is relationships. The relationship that I have with myself, the relationships that I have with the people in my life, these are a big part of why I’m able to stay so positive all the time. If something happens in my life, where I’m going through something, talking it out with a friend really helps me to get back to a more positive state. 

So just filling you’re life with amazing love yourself and amazing people are mainly not for everyone, but one of my personal keys to happiness and success.