How I Stopped Doubting Myself (advice for more confidence)

I don’t know if you know this or if you’ve heard my story but when I very first started my first business I was riddled with imposter syndrome. I didn’t feel good enough to get new clients, to market myself, or to put myself out there in a real way online. I had to do a lot of work in this area to get to the point where I am today where I can launch and sell and build my business confidently without doubting myself. 

Right now, in this moment, I’m going through a period of doubt in another area of my life. And so, while I still want to be totally open and honest and share with you that I don’t always feel the most confident, I have been able to achieve a certain level of confidence, and resilience and ability to show up.

Just remember that no one is 100% confident all of the time. Everyone goes through periods where they’re not the best versions of themselves and so if that does happen to you in your pursuit of overcoming self-doubt and becoming successful, please just know that despite what social media makes it look like it is totally, totally normal.

I have been able to go through a journey of growth within my business and within many areas of my life where I don’t doubt myself very regularly. Where I’m able to show up with tenacity and confidence and go after the things that I want. And that’s what I want to talk to you today about today so you can hopefully apply these tips to start moving forward and taking action. Because at the end of the day, the reality is that doubt doesn’t actually go away until you prove to yourself that you can do the thing, that you can have the thing.

So these are just going to be some tips to get you started to build momentum, but ultimately what is truly going to get you there is just to take action.


So, if there’s anything that I want to go after…Let’s say I wanted to do a particular launch in my business, I wanted to sell a particular type of product. And my doubt started to creep in telling me, “no one’s gonna buy this”, “no one’s gonna sign up”, “you might as well not even launch it”…what I say to myself is: what is the absolute worst-case scenario?

I know a lot of people will tell you don’t think of the worst-case scenario, think of the best-case scenario, and whilst I do agree that that is great advice and I do that as well., I always think about what is the opportunity VS what is the cost. I always like to look at the worst-case scenario and ask myself a simple question. Am I strong enough to handle this?

I think we sometimes catastrophize what the actual realistic worst-case scenario is if we don’t talk through it with ourselves. Sometimes your mind might spin out you might think. We can go so far down this spiral of what’s possible when generally it’s nowhere near as bad as we think it’s going to be, or we’re much stronger than we’re giving ourselves credit for. 

Even if the worst-case scenario was that you tried stuff in business and it just didn’t work. Ultimately, where you’re going to be is exactly where you started. But at least you will have learned some lessons on the way. And yes, it may be embarrassing, it may be soul-crushing, it might be really hurtful to be rejected or to not have people sign up for a program, but you are so much stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for. The reality is that it is going to be a blip on the radar of your life and that if you keep showing up, and if you keep moving forward this failure or this mishap is going to just be an excellent lesson. 

There are two options here: you either stay where you are because you were too afraid to try, or you go for the thing that you want and you could end up with everything you’ve ever desired, so go through and actually dissect that worst-case scenario because I promise you it will help to ease some of the doubt that is creeping in when you need to take action.


The next thing that I really did to help me to overcome self-doubt was that I tried to challenge myself as often as I possibly could to do hard things. 

If I’m feeling a moment of self-doubt I try to prove to myself is that I can do hard things because even if right now it’s painful and it’s frustrating, I know that with a little bit of intention and love and taking responsibility I can actually keep moving forward.

Whatever you’re feeling right now is temporary. You actually have the capacity to do hard things.

The more you prove to yourself that you can do the things you thought you want couldn’t, the more you’ll start to dissolve that overall self-doubt that you have about yourself and your capabilities.

Honestly, ask me a few years ago, I was totally a different person. But each and every single day as I get a little older and challenge myself more, and the more I really start to believe in myself. But proving to myself that I am strong, proving to myself that I can do things I once thought I couldn’t do has been the biggest game-changer in my own self-doubt journey.


At the end of the day one of the biggest primitive fears that we all have around taking action is rejection and ostracization.

We think that if I launch something online and nobody buys or if I launch a podcast or a YouTube channel and nobody signs up or nobody consumes my content, I’m going to feel rejected, I’m going to feel ostracized…

Something that I did to battle this feeling was that I developed the understanding that I have my own back no matter what, I learned to be my own best friend.

And whilst I still think that we as humans are social creatures and we definitely need one another, I always knew that no matter what happened, no matter if I was rejected, no matter if I was embarrassed, no matter if I was felt like that feeling of ostracization. I was always there for myself. I can’t leave myself, I am always by my own side.

And so learning to celebrate me, enjoy my own company, learning to be able to look at myself in the mirror deep into my own eyes and say that I love you and care for you and that you are enough has been huge. Because like I said, no matter what happens, no matter how much I feel rejected or alone or whatever when I’m in the pursuit of things that I want in life. I know that I always have someone and that someone is me.

So learning to get to know yourself and learning to love yourself no matter what happens will help you to overcome that overall feeling of self-doubt.


When it comes to actual things like starting a YouTube channel and filming videos or public speaking, or selling or anything that you want to pursue in life that involves some kind of work, one of the biggest things that you can do to build up self-confidence is to realize that you don’t have to go public so quick.

As much as I’m here and I always talk about just getting out there and taking action, sometimes as you improve your own skills that will naturally start to mitigate those feelings of self-doubt. 

The first time I ever did a public talk to 100 people, I felt really confident walking on that stage. I was so prepared because I had practiced, over and over and over again in private. I know a lot of people have reservations about starting a YouTube channel. Just film a bunch of videos, until you actually start building up some confidence.

Now, granted this doesn’t work for every single area of life some areas of work you just have to go for it and see what happens. But with anything that involves this kind of work, building up your practice in private is something that will really help you to stop doubting yourself so much. 


This has been a game-changer for me in my life. I substituted naysayers for expanders. And what I mean by this is you know when you hear people talking about “that’s impossible”, “that’s unrealistic”, “you can’t do that”, “that’s not the way the world works”, when you hear these things over and over and over again, it starts to really imprint itself on you.

But when you have people in your life that are like, “Oh my gosh, that’s amazing! That’s an excellent goal. You could totally do that!” you’re gonna feel so much more possibility. I know it’s difficult sometimes, especially when it’s someone that you’re really close to but, the more that you surround yourself with people who are either doing the thing that you want to have, or at least have the confidence that you’re striving for, or even just people tha
t are celebratory and excited for your success, the more that you actually make optimism your natural belief system

Even if you don’t have people in your life that you are really really close to that are extending you that tell you you’re amazing, as much as you possibly, try to consume content by people who’ve done the thing that you want to do. 

The best way to prove to yourself that the doubt that you’re experiencing was unnecessary in the first place is to just as much as you possibly can. Take a deep breath, pull up your socks, and just dive straight in, just do the thing that you’re telling yourself you can’t do, and prove to your brain, over and over again, that you are stronger and more capable, more resilient than you ever thought you were.

If you haven’t already, be sure to join us in the Game Changer community on Facebook or on Instagram – @erinmayhenry.

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